Divine
by Pri Maclay
Summary: Severus always knew that he would see Lily in her wedding robes. What he didn't know is that he would not be her groom.


She was supposed to look stunning; Severus knew this, of course. He hadn't known that she would look more than stunning. Admittedly, he should have expected that Lily Evans in her wedding robes would be beyond stunning or beautiful or any words used to describe mere mortals. Angelic came closer to the mark, but it was still off.

Lily was seated at a vanity, awaiting the return of her bridesmaids and father, and Severus decided this was the last chance he would have to speak to her privately. Immediately she noticed him in the mirror, but she did not speak for what seemed like ages. A smile graced her features, and when she did turn to face him, he once more could not find a word appropriate for her loveliness.

"Severus, what are you doing here?" asked Lily, but the upturn of her lips seemed to make the question more of a formality than one of actual care, so he didn't answer it.

"You don't have to marry him."

Lily slumped in her seat. It was a tired argument.

"Yes, I do."

"Why?" he asked. "Aren't I enough?"

She sat straighter. "Is that truly a question?"

"Lily, I know that I've made mistakes. But, my feelings for you haven't changed. They never will."

"I'm certain of that," said Lily, who turned back to her mirror and began to pin her hair up. "Just as I'm equally certain that my feelings for _you_, Severus, haven't changed and never will. But you have made choices that have made a life together an impossibility."

She seemed to choke on the words, Severus thought. There was no way to be sure. He wanted her to have, wanted this to be as hard on her as it was on him, so perhaps he had merely imagined it. Lily noticed the look on his face and turned back to him.

"Severus, I love him."

"Not the way a wife should love a husband," he said. It was a stab, and it did it's work. Pain flitted across Lily's face. He hurried to take it back. "I'm sorry. I know you love him. I'm sure it's my own egotism, Lily, hoping that you don't love him that way."

Lily glanced at her feet, and then stood.

Severus caught his breath, for this was a sight he had often imagined. He was sure James could never appreciate it the way he did. For years, he had dreamed of Lily walking towards him on her wedding day. He had always believed she would, but he had never known it would be in her dressing room, with another groom waiting for her.

The robes were, of course, white, as was tradition. Naturally, Lily had put her own twist on it. She was born a Muggle, and she was unashamed about it. As a result, the robes fell onto her shoulders, showcasing her slim collarbone and neck. The tasteful v-neck revealed no cleavage, but the empire waist accentuated her breasts well, and flowed out gracefully over the rest of her body.

"You don't have to marry him just because you're pregnant," said Severus.

"Yes, I do. It's what you do when you get pregnant, Severus. At least, it is if you're me. You marry your baby's father."

"You don't know for sure that it's his."

The words hung between them, heavy and unyielding. She took another step closer to him, and he laid a hand on her where, beneath the flowing material of her robes, her stomach was beginning to swell, holding a little stranger with her womb. He raised his other hand to her neck, thumb caressing her pulse, much like he had done a few months earlier. Lily shivered in response, brought her body closer to his, inclining so that their foreheads touched. He moved his head slightly, nuzzling her face for a moment.

"Severus," she breathed, and both remembered her voice saying the very same in a room lit with candles.

Lily had lain beneath him, opened up to him so sweetly as he had taken her with long, slow strokes that made them both ache after he had worshipped her body. In return, she had run her hands over him, across him, with a touch that was so electric, that it strengthened his resolve to do anything to make their time together last, anything at all. He had whispered to her, his love, his longing, and instead of laughing at him like he had so often feared she would, she had always replied with his name, and often the words, "Yes," and "Me too."

Afterwards, they had lain together until the candles had burnt out, tracing each others' faces, kissing fingers, cheeks, and lips, until her eyelids had fallen shut with exhaustion. Severus had not slept at all. He never did on the rare times he and Lily had been able to make love. They had discovered that pleasure together, and he hated Potter more than anything, not just for marrying the only woman he had ever loved, but because Potter had been somewhere that he believed rightfully his.

"Lily," he said, just as softly. "Lily, the child could be mine."

Lily pulled away, ever so slightly, and when she looked at him, there were tears in her eyes. "I wish, Severus, that it was. I prayed for it to be yours," she told him, laying her hand atop his. "I did the spell, though, _Pro Ortus_, and it's James's. A son."

Severus felt his stomach drop. Still caressing her pulse, he whispered, "It's not completely accurate." The words were said like a prayer, a last hope.

"I know. But I just…know. It's a Potter. He's much too rowdy to be yours," said Lily, with an almost happy smile. Severus felt himself grinning in spite of the grim situation.

"Yes, it figures that Potter's child would be a hellion, even in the womb."

Lily laughed, moved her head in the slightest way so that their lips brushed. A shock went through them both. Severus knew that he should move away from her, but they instantly came closer, his hand sliding from her belly to wrap around her waist. Carefully, so as not to muss her precariously pinned hair, he leaned his mouth next to her ear.

"You still don't have to marry him," he whispered. "I would raise him as mine. He's yours, therefore, he's a part of me. Just like you are."

The sound that came from Lily sounded frighteningly like a sob. Somewhere against his neck she said, "I know. He'll belong to both you and James, something I don't think either of you can truly handle." Lily pulled away, looked into his eyes, and said, "But I think you'll come to appreciate it, in time." She smiled that beautiful smile again. "Even if you have to share him with James."

Severus winced; Lily, for her part, pretended she didn't notice. Softly, she asked, "Will you help me put my veil on?"

There was no other answer he could give her. "Yes. Of course."

As he helped her place it upon her hair, he felt an ache inside his chest. His time with her was coming to a close so quickly. Any minute now, he would have to disappear into the shadows. He didn't know when he would see Lily again, much less spend precious time alone. Severus was quite certain that he would never be able to make love to her again, in any sense of the words.

Severus swept down to kiss her lips, and Lily responded hungrily, but controlled. She broke away to look up at him with a sadness in her eyes that was so deep, he feared he could drown in it.

"You have to go now, Severus," she told him. "There's not much longer before I have an aisle to walk down."

The words were a reminder of this terrible day. They broke and bruised, made him painfully aware of all the bad decisions he had made that had led to this.

"You would have married me."

"Yes, Severus," said Lily. "You know that."

Of course he knew that. He had asked her, once, and she had said yes. That, of course, was before Potter and Voldemort and all things complicated had come into the picture. If he hadn't been such a stupid, idiot boy who had clumsily pursued a path and come to serve a master who he now realized would happily rid the world of a woman he loved so dearly, he would not be here. He would be waiting elsewhere, and the child in Lily's womb would be his, not James Potter's.

"And it's me you love the way you should love James."

She kissed his cheek gently, brushed the hair out of his face. "Of course it is, Severus. Who else could I love the way I love you? It should be you I meet at the altar."

Once more, her sweet voice brought him agony, made him feel every part the fool he was.

"I know," he said. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"I already have," she told him, a tear sliding down her pale cheek.

Once more, he pulled her close, pressed their cheeks together, wrapped his arms as tightly around her as he could.

"I love you, Lily Evans," he told her. "Please, marry me."

"I love you, Severus Snape," Lily replied. "I will always love you. You will always be a part of me, but I can't marry you." She stepped out of his embrace, but seemed unwilling to break their contact, as she still held one of his hands lightly in one of hers. "I can hear them coming back. You have to go."

He pressed their joined hands against her stomach. Both stared at one another, as at that moment, the baby kicked both of them. Severus laughed out loud, true happiness in his eyes.

"He may be rambunctious like Potter, Lily, but he has your sense of timing."

She smiled at him and squeezed his fingers gently. They both could hear footsteps down the hall, but somehow, the couldn't seem to break contact.

"You're a beautiful bride," said Severus.

Lily leaned forward, kissed him one last time as a hand landed on the doorknob. Moments later, Severus disappeared into the corner, casting a Notice-Me-Not Charm with practiced ease. With just as much practiced ease, Lily placed a serene look onto her face, and allowed her father to lead her out the door. No one but Severus noticed her last look back.

He dropped to his knees, finally realizing the word he couldn't place before.

Divine.

**A/N: I'm not actually a Lily/Snape shipper by nature, but I think that it deserves some light. Besides, they're just so nice and angsty. And we all know how much I love angst.**


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